So, you met a guy and you're starting to crush. After the appropriate amount of Facebook stalking, you figure out he doesn't have a girlfriend and you step up your text messaging game. As the chatting turns into a let's-grab-drinks first date, you're psyched. After all, he's cute, funny, smart and a great dresser - what's not to like? Oh, right. Maybe the fact that he shops at H&M more than you do?
At first you think, well maybe he's just metro - no big deal. Then you realize he owns more keffiyeh-style neck scarves than you and all of your girlfriends combined. Clearly, there are only two logical explanations: he is gay... or just a hipster.
With jeans getting tighter and neon patterns getting brighter, it can be harder and harder to determine the difference between the two. However, there are a few questions you can ask yourself that may help you make the distinction.
First and foremost, has he already gotten into your pants? - If he regularly wears your skinny jeans, he's a hipster. If he won't even let you touch his True Religions? We say gay.
What are his feelings on facial hair? - If he has a mustache tattooed on his index finger, he's a hipster (and sadly, not a very cool one). If he mentions his need for a beard, you're barking up the wrong tree, sweetie.
Where did your mascara go? - If he asks to borrow your eyeliner, he's a hipster. If borrows your eyeliner and also requires blinc Eyebrow Mousse, Mascara and a bit of shimmer, he's probably gay (and most likely looks better than you).
Now, if you've determined he's a hipster, you're likely pretty thrilled, as you can soon commence the no-pants dance. However, as great as this conclusion may be for your hormones, there is one major red flag that you may want to check out. You've just attracted a hipster - so what does that make you?
Quick, look down. Are you holding a can of PBR? Are you wearing thick-framed glasses even though you have perfect natural vision? Do you have the word "Shhh" tattooed on your index finger?
If you have answered yes, congratulations - you may just be in hipster heaven.