It's officially the most wonderful time of the year, and women across the country are packing up their makeup bags and heading home for the holidays. And while everybody does their best to dress to impress, there is one woman who will undoubtedly steal the show - your great aunt Millie.
Okay, you may not have a great aunt named Millie but you know who we're talking about. Maybe she's your grandmother or that distant relative who everybody swears you are related to but nobody can actually figure out how. Maybe she's that lady who simply shows up to every holiday function oblivious to the fact that she isn't actually a part of the family. Regardless, every one has a Millie - the woman who wears more makeup than Snooki. The one whose hair is bigger than Snooki herself. The one who has used the same beauty products since 1975.
However, don't be so quick to dismiss the old broad. After all, her look most likely gets more attention than yours does. So this holiday season, put down the gloss and pick up those pencils - here are Aunt Millie's secrets to looking stylish at your next holiday gathering.
1. Rock the two-tone look. No, we're not talking about hair dye or eyeshadow, we're talking skin. Your face and your neck should not, under any circumstances, match. Apply a thick, liquid concealer to give your complexion a lovely orange tint and stop at your jawline. Put down the makeup sponge and admire your visage - your skin will seem even more tan compared to your pale, natural-colored neck!
2. Color in those brows like you mean it. We know, we know, you depend on your blinc Eyebrow Mousse to subtly enhance your arches with natural-looking color. But who wants realistic brows? Not Millie, that's for sure. Millie would urge you to drop that wand and pick up the pencil. Draw an outline around your existing brows and color them in thickly. We suggest a slightly raised arch to indicate how happy you are. The best part? If you get angry during the holiday gathering, don't worry about having to explain yourself - simply duck into the bathroom, wipe off your brows and draw on some angry-looking arches.
3. Blush ready for battle. You know how you can apply color to the apples of your cheeks to mimic the rosy flush from the crisp winter air? Well, Millie doesn't. Instead, she takes blush to a new level and brushes on two bold stripes of color from her temple to the corner of her nose. Sure, it may look like warpaint, but how else will people determine where your cheekbones are? Bonus: If William Wallace calls, you are ready for battle.
Finish with a few dozen coats of bright lipstick - magenta can be festive, but matte coral will suffice if you desire a more understated look - and you're good to go. Watch out, Aunt Millie - looks like you've got some competition this holiday season.